Blame It on the Bacon

Last night I crossed a line. Although my food choices don't always qualify as "healthy," I like to think I keep things in balance. For every greasy gyro, I have a salad, and despite my love for the Doughnut Plant, I eat more whole-grain snacks than sugary ones. But yesterday I headed down a dangerous path.

What happened? Adeet and I stopped at Crif Dogs on our way back home from a trip to New Jersey. As I scanned the menu, I briefly settled on the veggie dog, but my inner foodie chided me. "C'mon, you come to a hot dog joint to eat tofu?" Duly chastened, I found myself ordering the "Tsunami": a bacon-wrapped hot dog with teriyaki sauce, pineapple, and green onions. That sounded brazenly carnivorous enough to dispel any rumors of vegetarian sympathies. Adeet asked for a "Crif Dog" topped with baked beans and grilled onions. "Why not add a fried egg?" I um, egged him on. He agreed. Love and cholesterol will keep us together. I should mention that Crif Dogs deep fries their sausages.

When our food arrived, I immediately questioned what we'd gotten ourselves into. After my first bite, I started to panic. This tasted good. Too good. What if I started craving these things? For much of of the last 15 years, I didn't eat pork and seldom ate beef. Now I found myself savoring the crispy bacon that entwined the smoky sausage. The pineapple added a pleasant sweetness, though I couldn't help but wish it were fresh, not canned. The hot dog was skinny, which made me feel a little better about the fat piece of bacon wrapped around it. Adeet's hot dog looked like an English breakfast on a bun, and he devoured it with the same enthusiasm he does a traditional fry-up.

Adeet and I walked the long way back to the subway to offset some of the caloric damage, and I congratulated myself for at least skipping a side of french fries or tater tots. But I couldn't help but remember a former coworker who had a special phrase for the kind of meal we'd just eaten: "slutty" food. And then I blushed—I'd just lost my reputation at Crif Dogs.

Crif Dogs

113 St. Mark's Place • NY, NY

photos by Adeet Deshmukh